I went to eBay yesterday, and found out that I'm for sale.
Not a story of mine, or a poem (YES I'VE WRITTEN POETRY BEFORE--SHUT UP), or an anthology that contains some of my work.
No, really. It's me. A much smaller me, with hair (yeah yeah, laugh it up), from sometime in the 70s.
Apparently, this company buys old pictures from newspapers and magazines, and resells them. So, some thirty-odd years ago while I was busily composing a watercolor masterpiece, a photographer took my picture. Now, through the vagaries of bulk sales, it's available for anyone to purchase.
It's just a press photo I don't even remember, but these jokers are asking $25.00 for it (DUDE, SRSLY?). The picture is not my property, so I don't get anything out of this except this surreal sense of bemused hilarity, but that asking price garners its own questions.
Why ask so much? It's just a picture of a kid. Granted, he's a handsome kid (this was before I'd twice broken my nose and cultivated these crow's feet around my eyes), but still...
Did the seller Google me and see my name come up as a writer? Did they think I might have some crazed stalker fanbase that has to collect everything Dev-related? I WISH. (On second thought, I don't wish for that...I'm seeing a mind movie of someone enlarging it, then cutting out the mouth and eye sections of the photo and pressing it against his face like a Gimp mask, his tongue licking out and fluttering seductively as he talks to himself in the mirror and mastur--EW. NEVER MIND.)
Selling a photo of me is weird, yes, but what's even weirder? Someone BUYING it...